It’s one of those days. My knee is still bugging me, I’m seeing more grey hairs when I look in the mirror, I feel sluggish, lethargic, and full of meh. I went to a physical therapist yesterday to address yet again the lingering pain in my right shoulder that comes and goes. Despite the X-Rays and MRIs and varying reads of same, ranging from a minor rotator cuff tear to just a little bursitis to universal agreement that it’s not arthritis, I seem to have more pain just before it rains. I just checked the weather and today there’s a 60% chance of rain. I’d say my non-arthritic shoulder is as good a prognosticator as a Magic 8 Ball which means it’s probably 3 times as accurate as the local weather people.
Whatever the case, some days are better than others… today, it’s a bit worse than usual, though it may be the series of PT exercises/stretches they gave me to do. Much like Yoga or the electric slide, I never know if I’m doing the right moves and the right way. It’s entirely possible that whatever stretch I am doing is entirely wrong and at best doing nothing for me and at worse making things, ya know, worse. This I co-paid $50 for? It all feels like hocus-pocus mumbo jumbo. But I’ll give it a try — if it resolves the going on 7 month pain, I’ll believe anything you like.
This is all prelude to what happens on certain days where I fall victim to a “woe is me” funk and specifically how it relates to today. I occasionally binge eat — last night I was craving salt or maybe something pretzel-y. I went with pretzel chips. And then I went for more pretzel chips. And then I kinda finished the half-eaten before I got there bag of pretzel chips. It was not my finest hour. But I was insomniatic and a glutton.
Anyway, I rallied this morning after wallowing in a bit of self-pity and pretzel regret (but not too much regret — those pretzels may have made me thirsty but they also tasted pretty good!). I went for a short run. It was surprisingly head-windy both ways on my usual out-and-back run; I was slow in general. My knee was aching from the previous days injuries and overuse but I had to do something about those late-night snack calories. On top of that, I’m hoping to celebrate a bit of heaven with my Mom after she goes through a bit of hell.
Mom has an eye doctor appointment and getting one’s eyes dilated is just above going to the dentist in the circles of human hell. But as an incentive, I’ve convinced mom to hit the Cheesecake Factory for an early dinner. During one of their limited time Christmas promotions, if you bought a gift card they gave you two free slices of cheesecake coupons… the catch being the coupons expired in March. Well, it’s February 23rd so the clock is ticking.
There’s a particular slice of cheesecake at the Factory that I adore. It’s called Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple Cheesecake. I first discovered it 12 years ago. This is where a running story comes into play. I was training for my first marathon and was meeting some friends for a birthday dinner at the local Cheesecake Factory. Earlier that morning, I had run a 20 miler for the first time ever and was especially famished. When it was time for dessert, I spied this description: “Creamy Cheesecake Swirled with Caramel, Peanut Butter, Butterfingers® and Reese’s® Peanut Butter Cups.” It was love at first sight, first bite, and last bite.
This next bit may be apocryphal but it’s how I remember it: My brother noticed how much I was enjoying my cheesecake and at some point ran the numbers. He reckoned that since I had run 20 miles, and consequently burned so many calories, there was actually ZERO shame in my effectively licking the plate clean. It was, he would later tell me, the beginning of his realization that maybe running wasn’t such a bad idea, and it helped nurture the seed of desire to run a marathon himself. He would join me at the LA Marathon in 2005 and run several marathons thereafter.
And so tonight, as a treat to Mom and as a means of paradoxically perking me up for having binge eaten and continuing to struggle with some lingering injuries, I intend to indulge in yet another slice of Adam’s Fudge Ripple Cheesecake. Sometimes you need to break the rules and just live a little. It’s probably not the best time for me to do this given that I’m taking Mom on her first ever trip to New Orleans this weekend. There we’ll conduct a crash course in Cajun cuisine partially curated by Steve’s Dinner Club coterie. There will be calories but that’s ok; the New Orleans Marathon will cover part of the excess. And besides, if we don’t enjoy ourselves now and again we’re missing out on life. The running, while a huge part of my life, is actually to help provide the foundation for fun. Moderation (and the occasional indulgence) in all things — running, food, life.
Finally, if this were an elementary schoolyard, kids would taunt and tease me saying if I love Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple Cheesecake so much, why don’t I marry it. And my 10-year-old self just might take it upon himself to champion an amendment to the Equality of Marriage Act to include a provision for me to marry a cheesecake.
The moderating price of cheesecake is eternal running. I can live with that.
