I know nothing. Nothing. Upon checking in at Tom Bradley for my flight, it’s unclear whether or not I have a transit hotel like they offered en route to Bali. It’s also unclear how my visa situation as a transit passenger in the People’s Republic of China will shake out. I do have a valid Visa from my Great Wall of China Marathon days, but it’s in my expired passport. Will that be sufficient if they tell me I need a visa to get on my domestic connection from Shanghai to Kunming so I can board a flight for Yangon/Rangoon many, many hours later?
From Los Angeles to Shanghai, my flight time is supposedly 13 hours and 47 minutes.
And over the course of that 13 hours, 47 minutes, with the aforementioned looming issues upon arrival, I’m also dealing with tragedies onboard.
There is no Diet Coke on this plane.
No Coke Zero.
The only caffeinated beverage option for me then is coffee or Coca Cola Classic, a fully loaded soda with too-sweet a taste and far too many calories.
I can’t tell if my headache is from withdrawal or a lingering malady of my still-not-gone head cold. Three days coming, three days here, three days going. I should be in the going segment… and yet I’m not feeling like the wheel has turned. The wheel? The worm? What would turn to me advantage? Difficult to say.
On the plus side, I had this for lunch:
I’m didn’t snap a shot of a connecting flight’s “snack” consisting of a large roll with three slices of salami and more mayonnaise than any human being should consume in a year, let alone on a sandwich.
***
Turbulence. Solar radiation heats the earth’s crust. Warm air rises, cold air descends. Turbulence. I don’t like that. – The Hunt For Red October (1990).
There’s a lot of turbulence on this 13 hour+ flight to Shanghai. I’m a pretty good flier but there’s something about this turbulence that has me a bit rattled. Maybe it’s because I’m flying through southeast Asia, and I’m ever mindful of just how close we are to the Korean peninsula. With all the saber rattling of late, I’m the one who’s rattled.
Whenever I see the cabin crew not only suspend service and take their seats due to turbulence, I’m even more nervous when they appear shaken. It’s at these times that I’m reminded of a moment long, long ago. A girl I was dating had flown to RDU to see me. I picked her up at the gate as this was when you could do such things and she was literally shaking – not from excitement to see me but from the hair raising flight that she described as white knuckle. I being the typically poor boyfriend I have always been with any girl I’ve dated, pooh-pooh’d it as her being overly dramatic. But then the flight crew came off the jetbridge and they were all pale as sheets, the blood drained from their faces – they weren’t white knuckle, they were ghostly shadows of their professional selves. I always regret not being more understanding and supportive in that moment. Instead as I recall I think I took her to Waffle House. Because after confronting one’s own mortality at 30,000 feet, isn’t a waffle exactly what you want? Or maybe it’s just what I wanted at that point.
Yeah, I’m still single – hard to believe, right?
Anyhoo, this trip was nothing akin to the stories she told me of that puddle jumper journey. But there were more than a few rattling and rapid ascents/descents. Had we not been so near North Korea I’m not sure it would have bothered me as much.
Or if I had had a Diet Coke to calm my nerves – that might have helped too.
Who doesn’t have a diet soda offering? Are the Chinese so sure it’s carcinogenic? That the Diet option is so likely to cause problems they prefer peddling the fully loaded Coke Classic?
I should’ve just had wine. It would have gone lovely with my whine. And the engine’s whine. And the… um, whine… whine… nope. I’m out.
Man, I could really go for a waffle right about now….
***
I often use lines from this song on this blog but sometimes the full lyrics are the best way to convey the time zone shuffle:
“I’m So Tired”
I’m so tired, I haven’t slept a wink
I’m so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, noI’m so tired I don’t know what to do
I’m so tired my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you would doYou’d say I’m putting you on
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mindI’m so tired, I’m feeling so upset
Although I’m so tired I’ll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid gitYou’d say I’m putting you on
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind
I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind
I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind(Monsieur, Monsieur, Monsieur, how about another one?)