I’m sicker than when this week started. But I’m headed up to the Northwest for the latest Mainly Marathons series. Six days, six marathons. Two days in Oregon, two days in Idaho, and two days in Washington. Temperatures are supposedly going to top 100 degrees each day but the race organizers are offering early start times at 5 am to try and beat some of the heat.
All of this is part of my typical healthcare strategy. It’s based predominantly on Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. As you’ll recall, about halfway through Indy has been forced to drink some black goop and finds himself in a waking nightmare; he has become an evil mindless minion of the literally heart-wrenching Mola Ram. But Indy’s young sidekick Short Round is able to save his soul by burning the goop out via a flaming torch to his exposed torso.
Awoken from the dark spell, Indy is able to buckle his swash, don his fedora, and save the day. This involves emancipating the enslaved children of surrounding villages and finding the true meaning of fortune and glory… with a little help from the cavalry, Gunga Din style.
Point is, when confronted with illness, I strive to burn the bejeesus out of the black goop inside me. I used to view it as a “shock and awe” campaign, as I thought nothing could jumpstart the immune system like running a marathon and sweating out as many bad germs as possible. These days I guess you’d call it a “fire and fury” campaign.
Thus I’m off to run six marathons in six days, hoping to wake up the slumbering healthy Kevin from the fatiguing plague of illness. One hundred degree temperatures can only aid me in my quest.
Run Kevin Run and the No Doubt Doomed Marathon Healthcare Plan.
Rated PGS for Pretty Gosh Darn Stupid.