It’s hard to write anything at the moment. I’m still reeling (and will be for some time) from the madness of the mob on Wednesday. And I’m angry at the various people now acting like they weren’t complicit in the whole thing, that somehow they are outraged that “other people” would do such things when they themselves fanned the flames and indeed added gasoline to the fire at every turn. Standing up now and saying, “well, gosh golly, I had no idea! This is too much!” when moments before you were shouting and encouraging the masses to revolt and take violent action — it’s all so disingenuous.
I’m just… so disappointed. And while I wish this could be the sign that things have turned against fascist, racist, fear-mongering, arrogant liars, the reality is we’ve been here before. Yes, there wasn’t rioting in the capitol but for over four years now there have been equally offensive tweets, actions, shouts, lies, conspiracy theories, and con games going on. And each time Trump and his cronies have survived… and indeed thrived. Given that 70+ MILLION Americans STILL voted for this guy in November means we haven’t repudiated his vile brand of selfish authoritarianism and entitlement. Will this time be any different? Will this time only send Trump scurrying back into the dark only to have a Trump-Lite player emerge who pulls a slightly more subtle shell game with democracy and seizes power that way?
These are the things I find myself pondering as I ran my 10K this morning. Running can provide a means to work out issues or problems in one’s head. The rhythm of pace, the fresh air, the mechanical process of one foot in front of the other can sometimes… and only sometimes as it varies from run to run… permit the mind to disconnect and wander amongst its mind palace, poking and prodding at issues or looking at problems from various angles. Many a work problem I resolved in my head while out for a run, a memo composed in my head that I hoped would clarify a position or help break a logjam in corporate activities.
I have no solutions from today’s run. I just found myself pondering the state of the world, the state of the union, and the state of me in all this.
Maybe tomorrow’s half marathon, more than double today’s distance, will provide greater insights. I’m not betting on it but I still have hope. And if we can still have hope as we plan for the worst, well, that’s not nothing. That’s not nothing at all.
