I am left speechless and stunned by yesterday’s failed coup by Donald Trump and his marauding thugs of followers. This is the United States of America. This is institutional racism writ large — the relative kid glove tactics for responding to treason and armed insurrection compared to the violent responses to peaceful protestors at Lafayette Park and at countless Black Lives Matters protests demonstrate what white privilege and “white power” looks like. It was awful and will always BE awful so long as we turn the other way or treat people differently based on the color of skin or creed or national origin. I’m not even making much sense… I just know that this was reprehensible and un-American and deplorable and… and… words fail me.
This though is my silly little running blog so I’m going to try and maintain some semblance of normalcy… which maybe is the wrong thing to be doing amidst a global pandemic and a terrible and terrifying political and social crisis here at home. I don’t even know anymore. I slept poorly, haunted by the day’s images of the nation’s capitol stormed by a mob of anarchists and terrorists. But it is precisely because of the stress levels and the horror I’m experiencing that I decided it was all the more important to run. To seek the endorphin highs, the emotional release, the freedom of motion.
And so as today marked the opening event of the virtual Dopey Challenge 2021, I ran the Pluto 5K.
As I explained yesterday, because I’m running it on my schedule, I didn’t need to be up at 3:30 AM to get to the Disney Start Line experience and find my corral. And yet I was up at that hour (see above). Still, I couldn’t bring myself to don my running gear and run in the dark — so I waited until the sun rose at 7.
Not much to say here — it was a dash about the ol’ neighborhood.
This is in no way to cheapen or diminish the victory for folks who are out there doing their first 5K or even just walking around the block. Good for you — I’m proud of you. It’s hard. But when I’m used to running longer distances for training, the 5K almost feels like a lot of work just to get going and then it’s over. Again, that sounds arrogant but the point I’m trying to make is that mentally it’s a different game to run a 5K than it is to run a half marathon or a marathon. It’s a different mind-bender to me to see sprinters — I just don’t understand how it works to burst out an do a 100 yard dash. My body CAN’T do that no matter what I try and do. We all react to the distances and requirements differently. For me a 5K is fine but feels like I’m just warming up for the longer distances ahead.
And yet…
And yet. Today I really, really, REALLY struggled with getting it done. My heart wasn’t in it. I was distracted. And not because I was thinking, “oh, well, this is *ONLY* a 5K” in eye-rolling, man I’m THAT guy who is a jerk manner. And not because I was thinking, “I just have to get through this so I can settle in and do the longer distance…” way I sometimes get when doing a longer race. Today I’m not sure I could have done more than 3.1 miles. I was just… messy. I was a mess. Perhaps it’s the world right now – I do seem to have trouble focusing on anything for more than a few moments before boredom/distraction/anxiety takes over. Were I a Pixar dog named Dug, you’d think I’d constantly spot a squirrel. “Squirrel!” But I’m sadly not one of the greatest characters of all time (#DugIsTheBest). I’m just me. And I’m a mess.
Blah de blah blah blah. I’m not typing anything profound except to say I hope if you’re feeling somewhat similar you know you’re not alone. It’s a crazy time.
On the plus side, this being a Disney race, I did have a character cheering me on at the finish line. Thanks to Google’s 3D VR augmented reality thingamabob, I was able to awkwardly record the moment on my phone…
Tomorrow, when hopefully we will see consequences and justice rain down upon the vandalizing terrorists of Capitol Hill, will see me running a 10K.
Be safe everyone. Be sane. Science, critical thinking, compassion and justice are coming back. Try and stay positive.