May 4 – 7, 2019 – Wandering Spirit

I opted NOT to take a city tour this trip.

It wasn’t the money — the pros were something like $35 and the “AirBNB experience” was something like $22… though I don’t know if either one of those included various admissions.

I skipped the local guided tour mainly because I felt like the Prague Marathon had given me a pretty good overview of the city proper. Sure, sure — I didn’t know the names of anything, nor the history, but I think I got the vibe of the place. Cobblestones, bridges, medieval meets modernity.

In the end, I figured I’d take my TripAdvisor’s “25 things to see or do in Prague” printout, I’d unfold my guide map, and I’d tap coordinates into a GPS enabled cell phone whilst occasionally dipping into Wikipedia for some crowd sourced context. And then I would just… wander.

I czeched off a number of things (see what I did there?). I’m sure I missed out on a lot but I did my best to soak up the sights, smells, and sounds of this medieval city that became a Communist enclave that became a unitary parliamentary constitutional republic (or so says Wikipedia).

Truth be told, even when I take copious notes to recap out in a blog post, I don’t retain much of the knowledge. The mind ain’t what it used to be, though it is forever voyaging.

Cogito ergo this — I decided to lump all the photos of Prague into one large, unwieldy melange of a picture gallery. The images are from several days, albeit the chill air meant I was constantly layering up with my Australia hoodie and Run Kevin Run jacket. So it LOOKS like it’s all one day as I seem to be wearing the same thing over and over again. But it’s not – it’s different days. And I did have clean clothes under the jackets.

With that, here’s “How I Spent My Vacation in Prague.” (Feel free to skip around… there’s WAY too many pics in this thing but I figured what’s the internet for but to post a ton of photos, right? It really serves no other purpose anymore).

You better Czech yourself before you… um, ya know what? Maybe I’ve overplayed the puns.

I swore off beer a while back. Never liked the taste so even a cheap wine is preferable to beer. I may be in the wrong country.

A variation on the Dogs Playing Poker? I’m not sure how I feel about this.

I’d be lion if I knew who this dude was for. But I snapped a selfie anyway.

A traditional dessert here in Prague — the Trdelník!

This is the Franz Kafka Bookstore. I wonder if they sell Proust under the counter?

The Franz Kafka Statue in the Jewish Quarter. That’s Kafka riding on the shoulders of a headless figure, in reference to his 1912 story “Description of a Struggle.”

This is take 9 of my attempt to grab a headless selfie. The struggle is real.

So… apparently in Prague “good” lunches and dinners are the best you can hope for…

If you can’t fix it, feature it! Mad Cow on the menu!

That’s a giant bear! I probably would’ve taken a selfie if he was playing a keytar!

I posted this to Instagram earlier. This woman was near tears in a nearby park as she couldn’t find her hostel after the race. I’ve been there — it’s awful when all you want to do is grab a shower, get some food, and take a nap. I google-mapped and walked her back to the Czech Inn (HA!) to make sure she got back ok.

Hmmm… because I’m debating whether or not to eat here, I suspect I DEFINITELY should eat here…

Tip toe through the tulips near the Charles Bridge.

Thtat’s a lot of museum — more museum than perhaps you can handle.

A tale of two dogs. This one was 80 czk with minimal toppings.

I don’t think you sing as you skydive… I think you scream.

Don Giovanni… with puppets! But that perforamnce total is suspect. I saw it and the next day, it was still showing 6,532. Uh… did mine not count?

Buy your own morally bankrupt puppet here!

There were a lot of cuts to Don Giovanni… and no subtitles. But they did add a progressively drunk Mozart to conduct the piece and add some pantomime comedy.

At intermission, given that the theater was more sauna than anything, I desperately needed an overpriced water. I probably should’ve gone for the alcohol.

Critical notes — a little puppetry goes a LONG way….

Night time in Prague at the astronomical clock.

Uh…. it’s a building in Prague. At night. Which one? Um… that one.

Too rich for my blood. Vow of poverty, don’tcha know?

I like this guy used a car advert post card to celebrate the fall of communism.

Those are some huge and leafless topiaries!

There was no inscription and I had no guide map. It feels like a Joan of Arc statue but I don’t think that’s right. I always assume statues are Joans of Arc. Not sure why she’s my go-to.

People lined up to go up the bell tower and see the largest bell in the land — it takes 6 people to ring it — 4 people to pull the rope and 2 people to manage the clanger. They call it “Zikmund.”

Jeez, folks, it’s not like they let you fly the Millennium Falcon in there.

I wanted to see the copy of… er, “tribute to…” the Eiffel Tower.

And after a marthon, you really don’t want to see any more stairs,

I’m obsessed with wide angle lens shots these days.

Three hundred and thirty one steps to the top. Swell.

The midway point of the The Petřín Lookout Tower.

A view from the The Petřín Lookout Tower.

Another I can see my AirBNB from here… from The Petřín Lookout Tower

Much too crowded at the top. Ultimately I’m not sure it ws worth 150 czk to clumb but too late now — not like I can get a refund.

This is a hall of mirrors exhibit originally unveiled at the 1891 opening. I’ve seen Lady from Shanghai… and Manhattan Murder Mystery… and Skyskraper. No way I was going in there.

Walking back down — stairs down or up, it still hurts.

Beethoven was in Prague twice, stayed here at this place both times (I think).

One of the TripAdvisor recommendations was this alchemist take on an escape room. I thought about going solo but… look at the staged photo in the lower left. Those people are killing it. There’s like 17 different storylines going on in that photo.

I don’t know if you can make him out but over my shoulder is Death. I assume he’s on holiday.

The Charles Bridge walkway. On Sunday morning I was running on this thing.

Why is it wherever I go stuff is encased in scaffolding? I guess upkeep is a good thing but…

Ok — I don’t know what the deal is. But given the smoothness of the brass, I’m guessing it’s good luck to rub puppy. But then isn’t it ALWAYS good luck to belly rub a puppy? Side note: I quickly glanced at the inscription and thought it was a BREXIT plaque but turns out it says “erexit.”

Some museums are torture to get through.

A bear, a panda, a gorilla, and a polar bear walk into a bar…

This hot dog was 79 czk and had way more topping options.

Um… a statue of something or other. Not sure why we all were taking photos of it. But a lot of people seemed to be as I passed by so… when in Prague…

I think that means “no swimming” but the graphic is… odd,

Honestly, if the word “alkohol” wasn’t on there, I’d have thought this was banning telescopes in the park.

I could or could not eat a kebab. I’m just kinda kebabish.

This is the famous “Dancing House” of Prague.

You think your building’s talented? This one does everything in heels and BACKWARDS. It was inspired supposedly by Fred and Ginger. Speaking of which — Ginger Rogers is one of the greatest of all time, ya know?

According to Doc Brown in Back to the Future Part III, “Even the fastest horse in the world won’t run more than 35, 40 miles an hour!” No wonder they have to limit the horses here in Prague to 30 km/hour.

The National Theater — where I saw “Werther” on May 7th.

This is at the Steel Museum. And THAT is a steel E.T.

Hey, Captain America… lend me a hand will you? Oh, snap! What happened to your hand?!

So, there’s this Czech character called the Little Mole…

I can’t decide if this is a tiresome or intriguing name for a band.

I happened to be in the Old Town when a poltiical rally was going up.

While they were gathering, selections from Howard Shore’s Lord of the Rings soundtrack blared over theP PA.

Even the Thunder Buddies were protesting the corrupt government.

All the jumbo stuffies were pro-justice. Me too.

I wanted to capture the clock as it chimed the hour as apparently then you see all 12 apostles. Then remembered I’m kinda anti-church. Check out the guy posing in this shot though — nice form!

Ah, nothing says “Prague Memories” like a pair of brass knuckles (see the lower left display case).

It took me a while to fnd a cheap goulash…

The “dumplings” are really things you dunk into the goulash — bread as opposed to Asian doughy goodness.

Honestly, they’re still less creepy than the ones you see at Times Square or the Chinese Theater.

That’s because the Little Mole is a freakin’ psychopath.

Crowds for either the chimes at the hour or a political rally. Or both.

You and me both, cash tray. You and me both.

I’m going to be honest — I can’t think of ANY car that would fit through here. Not even a SMART car.

This is the day after I saw the puppets sing opera. Notice the performance number hasn’t changed.

I was trying to find this famous 7 foot tall statue of Sigmund Freud haning off a building.

Apparently it’s results in several false alarms being called into the police about a possible suicide attempt.

I finally found it by asking somebody if they knew of any borderline suicidal psychoanalysts in the area.

JK, JK… I actually found it after numerous google searches for an address.

A universal truth — if there’s a crew working, there’s at least that many sitting.

In the background — City Warden tower and the separate St Nicholas Church

Let’s be clear — people THINK it’s part of the church… it’s not.

And as tempted as I was to access the rarely seen smoke house, I decided I was too cheap to go up.

Kids though if they collect all the “key”s from the tower win a prize.

Look at this adorable kids guide. I wonder if he’s a member of the Society of Crossed Keys?

Prague behind (or is it front of) St. Nicholas Church.

I sometimes feel this when I’m in Europe. It’s all a little too “churchy” for me.

Speaking of churches, I give you the Holy Grounds of Saint Starbuck.

To go inside the church was 100 czk… inside was the Infant Jesus of Christ statue, dating back to the 16th century. It’s encased in an oranted gilded shrine… and that kind of Trumpian excess is why I’m kinda not so much into the whole “church as a vow of poverty” thing.

I recently watched this guy’s Baron Munchasen movie on the Criterion Channel so it was worth a trip to see a pioneering spfx filmmaker.

He was kinda Jim Henson, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Guillermo Del Toro rolled into one… with a dash of Terry Gilliam and Tim Burton to season.

Forced perspective, matte painting, rear projection.

Zeman’s Jules Verne movie was a sensation — and I was strck by the 1-2 sales pitch….

I found a color version online that I wanted to include here. That Bimbo the Great movie is in circusvision. CIRCUSVISION! I don’t know what the hell that is but I’m intrigued.

You can fly one of Jules Verne’s contraptions if you wanted.

This forced perspective shot required a friendly camera person. I had none. So this is a what might have been shot.

On the Charles Bridge, there’s a lot of statues.

And this one in particular seemed… familiar somehow.

This is the Lennon Wall, decorated by Beatles fans the world over since December 8, 1980.

Of course, it’s also prone to graffiti and holliganism.

But this sentiment is nice… and that guy and gal there were selling instant polaroids of you standing at the wall as a tangible memory. The more things change…

Anyway, like I said, it’s a nice sentiment…

Unless you happen to slide a lock on the nearby bridge…

Because this modern “proof of love” is a serious threat to any bridge’s structural integrity.

But a ton of locks is like a pack of pachydrms on the bridge AT ALL TIMES. And that’s just dangerous. So all you need is love and a bolt cutter.

That’s a Chocolate… bean? Bar? He’s the mascot of the Chocolate Museum but he’s kinda like a brown Grimace — I’m unclear on the Linneaus classification of this dude.

This is the hailed as the pinnacle of cubist architecture — The House at the Black Madonna. I have to admit, I was expecting more Madge.

Only the best tourist attractions for me — the Cubist Lamp Post!

More streets of Prague. Because apparently I can’t stop taking photos and uploading them here!

What’s Opera, Doc? Headed in to see WERTHER at the National Theater.

The food on offer. It was hot in the rafters and I needed a water at intermission. At the grocery store? 5 czk. Here? 50 czk. Nice racket.

Tomorrow I pack up and take a night bus to Geneva. As is often the case, I’ve had a good time but I’m probably here one more day than I need… or several days less than I need. It’s hard to Goldilocks travel.

To the Night Bus!

But before I go — a few videos for my amusement, courtesy of a green screen at the Karel Zeman museum:

Somewhere along the Charles Bridge:

What I do whenever I spot a celebrity… that’s Jules Verne, y’all!

Never invited to the party…

Welcome to… Jurassic Karel Zeman!