For years now, possibly as many as 13 years, I’ve wanted to do the original Krispy Kreme Challenge in my adopted state of North Carolina (my alma mater is UNC Chapel Hill — go heels!).
Yes, yes. It’s originated and sponsored and run by cross town rival NC State, but amongst the charitable beneficiaries is the North Carolina Children’s Hospital and so doing it for the children seems an acceptable excuse for crossing into Raleigh from Chapel Hill.
The race is a 5 mile loop starting at the NC State campus, heading out to the local Krispy Kreme donuttery and then back to the campus. The challenge is that at the midpoint, at the Krispy Kreme drive through window, one is to consume a dozen “hot, fresh now” glazed doughnuts. Scientists say that a dozen donuts detour adds 2400 calories to your food intake. A five mile run burns… what… 600 calories maybe? In addition, remember, the dozen donuts are eaten *in the middle of the race.* Your time includes the Takeru Kobiyashi/Joey Chestnut/Sonya Thomas style Eating Contest requirement of downing the donuts. Yes, yes… there’s a “light” version of the race wherein you skip the donuts or donate the donuts to charity… or spectators… but that means you’re ineligible for fabulous prizes and donut hall of famery.
I don’t know if my stomach could, well, stomach the dozen donuts. I’m an old man and even in my youth I think I might have balked at such a sugar rush. And the idea of lumbering 2.5 miles back to NC State’s campus with a full belly of pastry confectionary… it doesn’t sound particularly “fun.”
And yet it sounds “FUN” in all capitals, the letters in bold and italics and maybe even in quotes.
Year after year I eye the dates and try and make them work in my schedule. And year after year I fail to rise to the challenge.
So this year, the 14th year of donut debauchery, I finally decided I would at least contribute to the cause and participate “virtually.” I may not have scarfed down a dozen donuts but I’ve been stuffing my face pretty egregiously these past few weeks and tipping the scale up, up, up so while I may not be 100% Krispy Kreme worthy, my spirit is willing. My heart’s in the right place… and unlike the participants this morning in NC, my arteries aren’t closing up and clogging up as I type this. So there’s that.
Yes, yes. I’ve cheated at the Challenge. But only in a virtual way. And perhaps next year, for the 15th Annual K2C event, I’ll make a run to Raleigh and back again.
As for my virtual attempt this morning, I clocked a 5 miler at… and because I have been overindulging in all manner of foodstuffs decided to do a 10 miler and found my split time to be… well… meh. And this is all WITHOUT the dozen donuts.
This may not have been the smartest “taper” for my marathon tomorrow but it was also not the dumbest.
Donut ask me what the dumbest taper might be.
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By the way, the first ever Krispy Kreme Champ was an NC State sophomore by the name of Ben Gaddy; he did the race in a stomach churning, jaw dropping 34 minutes and 27 seconds. This year’s champ was 30-year-old Nick Oltman in 30:21:08.