I’ve always kinda hated Valentine’s Day. And it’s not for the reason you might think – I’ve hated it when I was with someone as much if not more than when I’ve walked alone. It feels like one of the saddest days of the year. It always seemed to me that if I needed society to remind me to appreciate my partner then we’re probably doing it wrong. I never understood a “holiday” that seemed designed to afford a gesture, a gift, a dinner, or even just a celebratory card to one’s partner and that by doing so one somehow validated the relationship. It all seemed like a disingenuous means to make up for or perhaps excuse long stretches of unhappiness… or maybe worse indifference… in a relationship. One day does not make up for 364 days of a less-than-fulfilling partnership. And society telling me how I’m supposed to show another person that I care, that there is some formal rule regarding such, seems a sham and a lie.
Relationships are hard; they require care and effort. True relationships are a living thing. Therefore Valentine’s Day romantic efforts seemed as enduring to me as the cut rose that one would hand their loved one on the day – a little effort may prolong the shelf life but eventually it’s going to wilt; it’s already dead and one is just playing out the time.
This either makes me sound like a cold, calculating rational jerk who promotes a scoresheet being kept for a relationship OR it makes me a hopeless romantic that feels you should appreciate your partner and your relationship on a regular, normal basis and not just on an exceptional one.
Maybe that’s why I’m a hard single on the relationship status.
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As an aside, this track popped up on my iPod today as I was running and that seemed wonderfully appropriate. It’s from my bootleg copy of the unofficial Ishtar Original Motion Picture Soundtrack over at Ishtar The Movie.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lyle Rogers with a work in progress rendition of “Wardrobe of Love”:
