I really, really, really, really didn’t want to go for a run today. Much like Shel Silverstein’s Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Lazy Jane who wants a drink of water so she waits and waits and waits for it to rain, I might have waited, waited, waited for my legs to run on their own. But here’s the thing — the legs DON’T run on their own. You have to make them run. It’s one of those catch 22s. Actually, I don’t think it is really a Catch 22. It might be more of a Catch 18. Really it’s probably just an Alanis Morissette-ian irony.
I’m a bit dehydrated and befuddled so who knows if this makes any sense. The point is, I really didn’t want to go and yet somehow, eventually, after much hemming and hawing, dickering but not daiquiring, I laced up and got out the door.
I don’t know what the opposite of buying a lottery ticket would — insurance? An annuity? — whatever it is, THAT’S what I should buy today. Because I hit every single red light humanly possible… and I think I even hit some fake ACME red lights Wile E. Coyote put up to try and trick the road runner into standing on a white X for a giant boulder to fall on him. It was impossible to get into any sort o rhythm. I already didn’t feel like being out on the road and having to stop and wait at every block… and I do mean EVERY BLOCK… was ever more disheartening.
But you know what? Like the Coyote himself, I didn’t give up. Something goes wrong, you don’t change your ordering patterns to ACME’s competitors — you stick with the horse you rode in on, am I right? So I just kept going, like that super genius Carnivorous Vulgaris. Some say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Well, I’m no Einstein but that sounds true in some cases and wildly reductive in others.
Besides, I ultimately DID get the same result, the result I wanted. I may not have enjoyed the run; I may have been super slow, and not only because of the seemingly Tribble multiplying Red Lights. But I am glad to HAVE done the run. It isn’t always easy, but what’s the alternative?
Would Wile E. Coyote give up? Would he sue ACME for false advertising and faulty manufacturing? Would he perhaps use his vast financial wealth as evidenced by his ability to keep ordering from ACME after all these years to simply order Road Runner be delivered from his local foodie restaurant? Would I simply stop running? The answer to all of these questions is no.
Besides, had I not gone for my run, I wouldn’t have seen this guy — the coolest man in town. He’s sitting by the Griffith Park Bear (donated by sister city Berlin, thank you very much), tapping away on a manual typewriter, writing his novel while soaking up some rays. That’s an incredible work-life balance if I’ve ever seen one.
