I’ve tried writing this post three times now. It always goes wrong. I’ve backspaced it to here and will try again.
For the third weekend in a row, I’m bailing on a race. While part of this most recent pull-back is due to the lingering broken toe issues, I also had a bit of a covid scare this week. I am just sore and achey all over and exhausted.
I had chalked it up to depression and slothful living due to curtailed and in many cases cancelled catharses from running endorphins (I’ve tried putting in a few miles here and there and it has gone ever so poorly). But the justified paranoia over Covid-19 thanks to selfish science deniers and evangelical hypocrites has made me overly sensitive to any and all signs of infection. Someone sneezes nearby and I get jumpy. We are all on edge, a bundle of stressed nerves and the slightest poke causes us to other explode or implode, the difference being who is on the receiving end of our broken ball.
So after a few days of aches and yawns, I pretty much had convinced myself that I was a Delta Covid breakthrough patient. To be honest, I didn’t see much difference in the treatment plan – similar to the cure for my broken(?) toe, all I could do was wait patiently for things to run their course. With covid, I’m vaccinated, I wasn’t feeling shortness of breath, and mainly had mild symptoms. The care plan would be to self-isolate, minimize contact with others, wash my hands, wear a mask any time I had to be out and about, and just ride it out. If I didn’t have covid, it would be the same solution: self-isolate, minimize contact with others, wash my hands, wear a mask any time I had to be out and about, and just ride the pandemic out.
Still, I thought I should try and know where I stood so if need be I could contact folks I had seen in the last week or so. How odd to think I might have to write to some people and say, “listen, you may want to get yourself tested….”
I tried three difference nearby convenience stores/pharmacies looking to get a quick Covid take-home test. One was sold out, despite their website saying they had it in stock at that location. One was closed because their system was down. And one just didn’t seem to carry it or at least didn’t have any staff I could ask once I had exhausted myself wandering the aisles looking for it.
I finally found one at a farther afield CVS.
All of this is a long story to explain that I took the test and barring user error (which I feel might be high) and allowing for the margin of error with any test, it looks like I’m NOT Covid-19 positive.
Which means we’re back to the unknown quantity that is my ailments. A potentially broken toe, depression over seemingly countless geo-political nightmares both foreign and domestic, and self-harming rabbit holes of disinformation.
I suppose in some respects I have time. But I lack patience.
How much longer is the end of the world going to take?