Once a weakness has been found, that’s where failure will come.
Once again my torn ligament has rendered me incapable of running. After 3 virtual marathons and various training runs, the other day I found myself in throbbing pain akin to the original pain that sent me down a health care rabbit hole.
I am depressed beyond all words, all feelings, all everything. As if the world turning a blind eye to the daily COVID-19 death toll wasn’t enough, as if the US government teetering on the brink of fascist collapse, as if the idea of 2020 coming to a close and 2021 being more of the same weren’t enough to make my outlook grim, this is demoralizing beyond all possibility.
I tell myself that I went through this before and clawed my way out… and yet as I pour myself another glass of wine and stuff my face with peanut M&Ms with reckless abandon, I find myself wondering what’s the point and why even bother?
I also tell myself that tomorrow is another day and I need to rally. We all need to rally. We need to think beyond ourselves and consider what we do and how we act matters not only to ourselves but to the world around us.
We need to stop being selfish and try and be a bit more selfless.
And being selfless sometimes means being selfish… as in not giving up on ourselves when faced with global pandemic and personal hardships.
Rise up.
