I originally had signed up for this race because a few folks had said they had wanted to visit Napa… and me being me, I thought, “Hey! I’ll run a marathon there at the same time! We should all go together! Ya know, like a group road trip!” But logistics and no doubt my own shortcomings at communication resulted in my going to Wine Country alone. And I think that contributed to my mood this weekend.
While there were large packs of runners in pace groups, I can never hang with those folks — I’m way too inconsistent in my pacing, sometimes faster, sometimes wildly slower… and I always seem to slow markedly in the closing miles. It’s the same story on different days. As the racers spread out a bit the farther we got from the start line, I found myself in a bit of a bubble of solo-ness. There still would be people here and there, one guy in particular I’d trade off leading and following, but for the most part, it was just me and the road running past blackened vineyards still recovering from a nasty wildfire. There were spectators at most water stops but there were also long stretches of just… road.
I suppose in a Billy Joel kind of world, it was better to share a run of loneliness than to run alone.
I did bump into at the start two of my old TravellingFit running companions — it was nice to see them and so unexpectedly. They had scrambled to find somewhere to run when Tokyo cancelled all but the elite corrals of their marathon scheduled for this same weekend. I actually see them surprisingly more than you’d think given they are from New Zealand and I’m from Florida.
In any case, the rolling terrain of Wine Country made for a rolling course, a point to point net downhill with a few tougher inclines around mile 15 and 20. It was a breezy, gusty morning and the cloud cover never broke… though occasional raindrops would burst through. There were just enough drops to give a bit of ominous worry but thankfully nothing too heavy or serious. It was great running weather just not great weather to truly appreciate the beauty of the location.
I was able to stay ahead of the 3:05 pace group until the halfway point; by mile 23 the 3:10 group left me in the dust. It’s easier to be passed now and again by a fellow solo runner; when it’s a pack of people, and they’re carrying a sign, it’s a bit more demoralizing. Each sign felt like a new minus sign on a checklist of failures.
As is often the case, I shuffled to the finish line whilst others kicked it up a notch. I don’t know how people do that, have a bit of reserve to power through in that final kilometer. My brother has a killer kick which I know I’ve spoken of before — he can have a struggling day but the moment he sees the finish line banner, no matter if it’s just round the corner or far off in the distance, he’s suddenly Usain Bolt or Barry Allen and leaves flaming trails behind him as he speeds to the end. As for me? I’m more like a steampunk jalopy held together by chicken wire and dreams, just barely crossing the finish line before all my parts fall off into a heap.
So while I didn’t cross the finish line with a PR or a BQ, I did weirdly finish in my pre-race prediction. While standing at the start line, there was a 3:05 pace group and a 3:15 pace group… at this stage the 3:10 team hadn’t shown up… I was standing between those two signs and I jokingly said to a fellow runner, “I’m really looking for maybe the 3:12 pace group….” As I rounded the final corners toward the finish, I wondered about the mystical “secret” of that self-help book phenomenon. I think it postulates putting our secret wishes and desires into the universe and giving voice to them somehow makes them come true. I even think I’ve made a few joking references to it on this blog… I should probably do a search using the menu bar above… but it’s 3:35 AM and I can’t sleep and I’m kinda bored so, meh.
Maybe the real secret is that I’m suffering from ennui… a phrase I overuse without really knowing what it means.
Isn’t that inconceivable?
***
Next time on the Run Kevin Run Dot Com Blog: A return to the LA Marathon… assuming they don’t cancel it or curtail it for the coronavirus pandemic. I suspect a lot of races in the coming months will be forced to choose between healthy racing and racing for health.
Also, as an aside, I’ve been a bit more open about my mood here in these posts, but if you want a sunnier depiction, check out the social media filtered feed over at instagram where I try and put up silly little one-offs to make folks laugh.