The rain was wet. And cold. The air was cold. And wet.
But fortunately, it stopped in time for the Kiawah Island Color Run 5K along the beach. By then it was just dark. But given that they kitted us out in glow necklaces, glow finger tips, glow glasses and with foam glow sticks, the darkness provided the perfect milieu for reflected glory.
And speaking of glory, I have to admit to feeling a bit… confused… at run’s end. I mentioned it was dark, yeah? Well, I was just out for a run, happy to be out of the car that had been my seated home for the last 7+ hours on the drive up to South Carolina. I wasn’t really paying attention to passing people, especially since a number of them were NOT bedecked in glowing paraphernalia.
At the start line, I noticed some of our glow gear already was fading, the quality control on the mass produced cheap goods not what one may have thought. But this kid in front of me used brute force to bash the foam stick back into technicolor flashes. I told him he was like Fonzie and he just looked at me. The other people around me thought it was funny, but then I realized that they all thought it was funny because we were old. Another old fogey tried to commiserate with me saying he made a Saved by the Bell reference to one of his younger designers and she didn’t get it, saying, “Oh, you mean Mario Lopez?” “No,” he recounted. “He will ALWAYS be AC Slater.” Considering my senior honors thesis was on SBTB (Saved by the Bell) as Modern Shakespeare, I wanted to say that I appreciate a good AC Slater reference on a much deeper level. Instead, I just laughed it off as yet another sign that the kids today have no appreciation for their history.
Little did I realize how grumpy old man I would turn out to be. You see, not only did I pass some folks on the run… I passed EVERY ONE on the run. It turns out I won the dang thing. At the awards ceremony, every one else who placed was a tweener, maybe 12 years old at the oldest. And then there’s me, a 42-year-old old man who pushed and shoved his way past those younglings to claim victory.
It was therefore something of a double-win, a 1st place in the run and a 1st place in crushing the hopes and dreams of a couple of adolescents. It made me feel like like 20 dollars… which coincidentally was the value of the merchandise credit at the official Kiawah Island Marathon store I also pocketed. To be fair, everyone who podium’d got the same amount.
I have no doubt I’ll get blown past by men, women, and yes, children at tomorrow’s marathon.
Still, I hope those kids learned a valuable lesson — you don’t bring a pacifier to a rave-style run in the 21st Century. This isn’t 1995 for crying out loud.
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. But you’re also a winner. A winner, winner, twenty buck dinner… or should I say $40 dinner?
(Note: This island was too rich for my blood. I bought off-island a $6 sub at Harris Teeter with a complimentary VIC card).