April 27, 2019 – Runs with Scissors Marathon

A bit of backstory, from the race website:

The course?  Twenty loops around a lake… and each one longer than the last.  I have to assume the distance remained constant so the only conclusion is that I got slower and slower as the loops dragged on.

I used to arrogantly think I was “pretty ok” as a marathoner.  I was never going to win but I could on occasion put up a respectable showing in the standings… particularly in the smaller races.

But with just a few weeks off for an injury, my speed work and stamina have regressed to “meh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ” categorizations of running.  That’s… disheartening to say the least.

Despite setbacks and disappointments, I keep lacing up.  I’m slowly trying to rebuild.  There’s still some lingering injury nonsense but with each race it seems to get duller and less obtrusive.  I gather from comments from other runners on the courses that I’m still limping in my stride… and I can tell there’s some minor plantar fasciitis in the balls of my feet that I keep self-treating with Dr Scholls insoles.

It’s funny to think that three months ago I was on the hunt for a first ever Sub-3 hour time.  Now I’m struggling to put up a 4 hour effort.

Today I thought I felt better than Seoul or LA when the closing miles were a feat of my feet’s threshold for pain.  But the clock time for today was only slightly better than those staggering finishes.

Nonetheless, it was a goofball race.  For the low, low price of $40, we netted a ton of swag – beer glasses, a beanie, custom scissor medals with all our names on the ribbon, and I think free race photos.  Plus a massive amount of food at the aid station… which, did I mention I passed 20 times?

Oh, and to save money, they recycle old race bibs.  Here’s mine from a middle school cross country meet:

Part of the $40 fee also helps support a school for developmentally challenged children which is a great cause… but I have to wonder how this guy breaks even on the race.  I suspect he does it because he loves it… and loves the school.  And if that’s the case, the profit margin he needs is simply that he can support that school.  A feel-good emotional marathon that didn’t always feel good physically.  Sounds about right.

Anyway, a few shots from the circuit…

…and a few shots at the finish.

That’s the race director and me above.  I think the race photographer got me in an action pose pretending to run with those giant scissors.  I’m just glad they weren’t given to all the runners — can you imagine me trying to get those shears through TSA?  Even with PreCheck?