Due to technical difficulties beyond my control, I’m going to split this into a few posts in the hopes I am able to get the official photos from the trip before too long. It was a heartbreaking discovery to come home and plug in the USB stick we bought with supposedly all our Shutters photos from the trip… only to see it contain only a copy of our invoice and nary a digital image at all.
But in the meantime… let’s talk about “Imagination-ships.”
I should know better. It’s like when you think you and your bartender should go grab a beer at another bar. Or the waitress and you should go grab dinner sometime. Or when a pretty girl smiles at you on the metro and instead of it being the start of a meet cute in a romantic comedy she nods and offers you her seat because you’re now an old man and she thinks you’re aged. Or when the woman at the deli counter gives you a slice of turkey for free and then you realize that’s just a thing… she does it to make sure you’re ok with the thickness of the cut so instead of buying the full pound to impress her you should’ve just gotten the half pound that you will eat alone at lunch for the next few days.
It’s an imagination-ship, a fantasy of a deeper connection and the beginning of something epic when in truth it’s just a nice moment amongst people passing each other on this tilt-a-whirl called life. And a small moment in passing is definitely not nothing; it matters and it means something. It just doesn’t mean SOMETHING if that makes any sense.
And I’ve done this before on long vacations with folks, both with people I was traveling with as guests and with folks leading us on our vacation adventures. I’m a serial imagination-shipper, projecting our tandem bike rides through the park next summer when the reality is I’ll be forgotten as soon as the next troupe comes along. It’s like having a favorite teacher who you reach out to in order to thank him or her for the impact on your life, only to be told, “I’m sorry. I’ve taught so many kids and I just don’t remember them all…”. Yet the moments still are impactful and matter… and that’s especially true on a cruise.
So here are a few of my imagination-ships aboard the Disney Wonder last month… and my hope that at some point maybe those imagined connections prove to be a part of the real world.
A few days ago I mentioned I’d post some photos from the Panama Canal Cruise my Mom and I just finished taking. There’s a moment I was going to post wherein Black Widow handed me my Avengers ID badge:
This is befitting as the images I’m putting up hereafter are illustrative if my three (3) super powers and not just of the memories Mom and I got to make with the wondrous cast and crew of the Disney Wonder (get it? Wondrous… Wonder. I’m going to be doing this a lot – commenting on “the jokes” because that makes them “funnier,” and I do mean air quotes funnier… as a Cruise Staff member told somebody else on the ship when they made a “joke” – jokes are supposed to be funny. And when they’re not, it’s best to explain them. And explain them in EXCRUCIATING detail).
Super Power Number 1 – I must create some sort of electromagnetic field that renders machines and devices to perform chaotically, inconsistently, or just plain malfunction. Case in point – we bought a USB memory stick of all of our official photos taken by the incredible professional onboard photography team. Except when I plugged the USB into my computer at home it was empty. This apparently happens somewhat frequently as it’s one of the first Frequently Asked Questions on the cruise photo support website. I mean, if it’s in the FAQ, it HAS to be F’d, right? Still, I feel it’s less a glitch on their end and more a result of my own uncanniness. I’ve submitted a support request so I hope they can get us a replacement drive. Mom and I were just about in tears when this happened. Sigh. With great power comes great frustration.
As a result, the photos I’m posting here come from Mom or my phones. They’re pretty great as is, but they lack a bit of the ol’ razzle dazzle that comes from the bounced light, KA-Chunk still images Luis, Jun, Chante, Thomas, Ravi or… shoot… I’m blanking on the other shooters. Sigh. This isn’t a super power of memory wipes; I’m just terrible with names.
Super Power Number 2 – When a photo is taken, there’s a better than 60% chance I’ll blink and have my eyes closed. This is why I wear sunglasses so often when taking pics – I’m in disguise and donning my secret identity. If I’m wearing shades, nobody can see my eyes are closed. Can you imagine what a super villain would do if he or she knew I was Blink Man? The mind boggles!
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A few years back, I met Derrell on a cruise. There was an open house youth activity during a port day that I happened to be onboard for. The open house means the kids club, normally the purview of rugrats, adolescents, and teens, was open to all ages… and I myself happen to BE all ages. It was a Mickey Mouse Club induction activity and I thought, “hey – I wanna be a Mouseketeer!” And yet when I arrived I was the only person there. Three or four youth activity counselors arrived soon thereafter and I offered to just head back to the pool area to catch some more sun. But Derrell, who was one of the counselors that trip, said they all had to be there anyway and I was welcome to stay and just hang out. He did ask if I wanted Mickey to come out and hand me my certificate as that is usually what happens at the end of the program… but I didn’t want the big cheese to have to waste his time for just little ol’ me. Derrell was able to call him and give him the go ahead to take a cheese break. So for the next 45 minutes I talked Disney with the youth counselors about roles and whatnot and it was great for me… and I want to think kinda nice for them to talk to somebody over the age of 14 for a bit. If they really did have to be there according to their schedule I was happy to just hang out. And over the next few years, I’d see Derrell on various trips, sometimes in the Cruise Staff, sometimes hosting game shows or cooking presentations onboard. I thought we had a real bond. He loved my Mom too. So it was great to see him again this year… and we even had him jump in on a photo with us with the Big Guy himself:
Only later, we saw him hanging out with OTHER cruisers and being just as friendly and fun as he was with us. I know this is crazy but Mom and I both admitted to the other that we felt just a little betrayed, like Derrell was cheating on us. We still love the guy… but I guess Mom and I just need to guard our hearts a bit more carefully in the future. Just because It’s an imagination-ship, doesn’t mean it can’t create real hurt.
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When it comes to the Disney Princesses, I’ve always been a Belle man. She’s a smarty bookworm who doesn’t need a guy. Ding-ding-ding, winner, winner — ya know what I’m saying? (Ding-ding-ding… like a bell? Get it? A bell, man!). Anyhoo, since that girl who’s supposedly so peculiar came on the scene, Disney has done a better job of empowering their heroines – Tiana was a can-do woman who through hard work and determination was going to build her own business and didn’t need a man to make that happen. Moana broke with a restrictive set of rules to unleash the exploratory heritage of her people. Elsa and Anna? They embody acts of true love amongst sisters not potential husbands.
And to be frank, based on her movie, I never really loved the Little Mermaid. She gives up her voice for a man? I don’t know – that seems WAY tone deaf to me. But in person, I very often find Ariel to be utterly charming and captivating. Last year she remembered Mom and me by name when we first walked on board (speaking of which, I hope her doppelganger Emma is off on a great adventure – I’m reminded of her as she looked just like Ariel only without the red hair). And this year when we met again, well, she once again won me over, in spite of me. Part of it may have been that my Mom inadvertently tried to set me up with her. I can’t even recall exactly how it all went down, but I do know a photo exists showing the moment:
I know I’ve been in a dating slump but I mean… wait, wait. I mean, thinking about it… I want to be clear here – I really think Hollywood took her life story and took some serious liberties with it as she’s so much more charming in person. I guess what I’m saying is, ya know, Ariel was, well… she got to be once again something of my cruise crush to be honest. I suppose a lot of people were a cruise crush for me on the trip but what follows is a photo explanation of when I became full cruise ship smitten with this girl.
I suppose it could have just been an errant wave that hit the ship and I kinda stumbled into her for this photo. But not to go all Zapruder film on you, but her head goes back and to the right to land on my shoulder. I call that a real moment then.
Back and to the right.
Back and – oh, man.
I sound crazy.
And super creepy.
In my defense, I never did ask her for her shell-phone number.
I said, I never did ask her for her shell phone number.
That’s a joke! Er, um… yeah, I know jokes are supposed to be funny but…
Sadly, even in the land of imagination-ships, all great October to November faux-mances are fated to end. And if I’m being 100% honest, I think my real Disney Cruise crush was on a woman named Sarah who looked a lot like Ariel here, albeit she didn’t have red hair. I didn’t get her number either.
Man, this whole thing is coming across way creepier than I meant it to.
Which unfortunately rather nicely transitions us into a story about me and Cinderella… a story that reveals my third and final super power.
Cinderella was awesome on this cruise. She was the model of a true princess charming, witty, kind, and not only tolerant but indulgent of the hoi polloi. That phony baloney plasticine Kate Middleton was put to shame by Ms. Rella.
While she was always great with us and with everyone I saw her with, there was an interaction with a young mini-me version of herself that particularly stands out. The young cruiser compared her sparkly shoes with the Princess and the two of them sat and traded royal secrets. It was the kind of thing you’d see in a commercial for Disney and say to yourself, “oh, that never happens!” – and yet it most definitely does. I saw it. It was the kind of magic that had Oscar the Grouch witnessed would prompt him to rethink his outlook on life.
So it was all very embarrassing when I revealed my super power in a late-night meet and greet. I can’t quite recall how we got there but I was saying to Cinderella that she has a lot of castles – Orlando, Tokyo, Paris – and I thought she could quit-claim the French one to Belle. Cinderella pointed out that Belle has a castle and that the one in Disneyland Paris is actually Aurora’s (aka Sleeping Beauty), plus she herself is French. And I talking aloud said I always thought she was Russian; of course Cinderella knows where she’s from – albeit there are a number of fairy tale iterations dating back almost 2000 years, the one we all know and love is French. And yet I couldn’t help questioning her on it which shows I can leap the chasm of fun and playful rapport with a beautiful woman in a single bound over to a land of mansplaining awfulness, faster than a speeding bullet, and with the force of a locomotive. My super power of awkwardness knows almost no bounds.
Cinderella sidestepped that whole thing with grace and poise… but I remain horrified and disappointed in myself for the both of us. Later I would realize I was basing my whole knowledge of her origin to a running gag on Star Trek wherein Chekov insists all the great culture and “inwentions” of the universe originated in Russia (in this case, he specifically referenced Cinderella’s origins in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country). Nonetheless, I’m incredibly embarrassed at my behavior and it underscores one of my great fears in interactions. I often wonder how many times I’ve crossed the line between my own belief that I’m being charming and funny and instead am being obnoxious and unfunny and a jerk. There are few things worse in social settings than an arrogant boring boar and I worry that is my role in instances too numerous to count.
Which when I think about it raises an issue for Run Kevin Run in general and this post in particular. I worry what I think is kind of funny and charming comes across quite poorly in the digital prose that will exist forever here online. It should be a very large line between fun and awful… and yet I fear I too often blur that line.
Let me therefore close this particular post with an attempt at a bit of redemption. I have been in something of a dark place… and indeed seem to have a time share there that I find myself wallowing in far too often. So it was a much needed voyage to carefree fun and the occasional silliness coupled with a touch of magic that this cruise provided. I got to hang out with Mom and make some new memories and both disconnect and reconnect in a way that hopefully will resonate into the future. And the good people of the Disney Wonder helped make that happen on a daily basis. I know I may have been overly effusive with thanks or praise but it was partly because it was all so very nice to leave behind Kevin’s MelancholyVille Condo and venture into some other territory for a change.
Nonetheless, I was and remain sincere in my appreciation for the hard work of the cast and crew of that ship… and beyond it. So whether folks there were finishing up their contracts, in the midst of them, or just reupping, I wanted to take another moment here to say something to you all. I thought I might try this “The Secret” thing — I never read the book and don’t really understand it save as a punchline for a few movie narratives. But I gather you’re supposed to say the secret into the universe, to put out some idea or desire or hope and let the energy flow through the cosmos such that it makes it real. Sounds a bit New Age-y, hippie lore to me but I’ve been known to hang my hat in Laurel Canyon so why not?
My secret then is this — and I don’t know if it stays a secret by typing it out here, if in discussing it I negate it a la a birthday wish but otherwise I don’t know how the energy gets out there per se — but my secret is this:
To you cast members, be it on this trip or in other years, or be it in various theme parks, on stage, backstage, in offices, warehouses, manning phones, or driving transpo, or just doing any job in the Disney multiverse — to you all I wish you a chance to get away from it for a bit. I hope you get to be you, to see family and friends, to let other people make your day better for a change. Because you’ve earned it. You made the day better for me. You made it better for my Mom. And you did it for thousands if not hundreds of thousands of guests during a day, week, month, year, or career. You and your cast members made a difference, be it by sea, by land, by park or behind the scenes. You gave a bit of pixie dust to a world awash in harsh reality. That’s powerful. And it is in fact a super power — amazing, uncanny, spectacular, astonishing, and all sorts of other extraordinary adjectives that I wish would be the new normal for us all. Would that the world had a bit more magic and hope and a bit less anger and vitriol.
Whatever comes next for you, I hope you carry the knowledge and pride of having made the world better for so many people. I hope you wear the awareness of that power like a suit of armor when you inevitably encounter the jerks of the world — because come what may, you are responsible for some of the good that finds its way in this world.
May your time off be filled with memories at least as fun filled and joyous as you brought to others. I’ve said it before and I hope I always say it to people who do a kindness — thank you.
And as a subparagraph 13 of the aforementioned secret, I selfishly included a rider hoping that friend of a Disney character gives me a call.
What? Did you not see the photo above? That happened in mid-sail mind you! In mid-sail! That is one magic moment.
Oh, man. I really do sound like a conspiracy nut.
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As soon as I can data rescue the missing cruise photos, I’ll post some great shots of Mom and me with the World Famous Disney Characters… and a few of just the two of us as we sailed the Panama Canal.
Until we meet again…