I decided to go there because of Yelp.
Take a look at these photos. Wouldn’t you think this is a place you should check out?
And so this evening for dinner I found myself in the hole-in-the-wall Effie’s Burgers (sometimes known as Effie’s Tavern due to a makeshift bar in the back, a speakeasy seemingly only accessible from the “Burger Joint” Front).
I couldn’t bring myself to order the 1 pound Effie Burger that they’re known for. But I was reassured by the server, a blue haired woman who was very nice but a bit scattershot, that ALL the burgers were “Effie Burgers” they just weren’t all CALLED “Effie Burgers.” Alll blueberries are blue berries, but not all blue berries are blueberries. Or maybe it’s the reverse — all blue berries are blueberries but not all blueberries are blue berries? Point is, if all burgers are Effie Burgers, I went with the 1/2 pound cheeseburger.
“With all the fixin’s,” she asked, pulling a second pen from behind her ear, maybe not realizing she was already holding a pen and taking my order.
When I asked what that entailed, she rattled off the condiments and toppings — I was onboard with it all, save the pickles and relish. Just not my favorite things. She made a note and walked back to the grille to inform the cook what was what.
A while later she brought me this:
The Eponymous Effie Burger is a whole burger on a specialty roll Effie’s has baked in the area just for them. My 1/2 pound cheeseburger then was just an Effie Cheese cut in half. And apparently the cook didn’t get the note on the pickles. As I picked them off, my server offered to have the cook do it (He even shouted from the back that he’d take them off) but really what difference did it make if I pulled them off or he did in the back? I said it was fine and she promised me a treat. My entire meal I waited for that treat… and a refill on my water. I received neither, although if getting the check counts as “a treat” then, um, I guess I got a treat?
The burger itself was a disappointment. After all the buildup and the photos and the anticipation, and this isn’t because there was lingering pickle juice on the thing…. far from it… the bun was drier than I’d like. Maybe it needed the pickle juice to soften it up some. The meat was a bit overdone, and the various other fixin’s were all… bland?
All in all, it was a heartbreaker…. which given the artery clogging possibilities of a one pound hamburger, might be preferable to a heart attack.
They can’t all be winners. But I sure would like a dinner out here that made me think, “Yeah. That IS a yelp-able meal!” As it stands, I wouldn’t rate Effie an “F” but it’s not an “A” that’s for sure.