Things To Do In Seattle When You’re Dead Tired

I had planned on just sitting in a movie theater watching some vacuous French space spectacle. But Seattle traffic and insane parking rates sabotaged such thoughts. There’s too many one way streets, divided roadways both horizontally and vertically requiring overpasses, underpasses, right turns to loop back around left ( but not like the Jersey jughandles), and a blatant disregard for pedestrian vs vehicular games of chicken.

In the end, I wound up back in Fremont and took in the Center of the Universe’s melange of weird art projects.

The famed troll under the bridge is on a street called Troll… presumably one came before the other. But if you’re looking for the troll, he’s on Troll in the troll district.

I posted this shot to Facebook with the caption, “I’m just saying if you could put in a good word to Kendrick, I’d appreciate it…”

The signposts to points of interest near and far is I guess the official self- proclaimed center of the universe … although given my recent discovery that A LOT of sign posts of geographical significance are … misguided?… a sham?… I’m not exactly confident in calling this the Fremont Center Of The Universe.

To prove their “weirdness,” the tiny patch has a sign on a drawbridge which reads thusly:

But ya know what? They don’t fully commit to it. If you’re going to have a thing, you need to MAKE IT A THING! Here’s my Pacific Time Zone set wrist watch and a Fremont Bank’s outdoor signage:

They should be five minutes apart…but they’re not. When in the hell are they going to fix this?!

A few blocks from the giant Lenin statue, there’s a supposed Soviet era missile/rocket on the side of the former Acme building (I don’t know if Wile E Coyote finally bankrupted them or what… but it’s no longer an Acme… so it’s no longer a gasser).

The last sight to see were Dino topiaries. I’ve seen impressive topiaries before; I was not impressed with this mother and child Apatosauruses.

I type this as I sit in the Seattle Tacoma Airport. GoogleMaps has vastly oversold its credentials; that or I’m in just the wrong part of this crappy facility. It’s crowded and there’s nary a Muzak PA system, and certainly no live music.

Good night and goodbye, Seattle. For tomorrow it’s “Good Morning, Vietnam!”