All we are is dust in the wind, dude. — Ted “Theodore” Logan.
When traveling through time in a phone booth on a most excellent adventure, Bill and Ted collect historical figures for a final exam History presentation; the first one they encounter is Socrates. Not sure what to do, Bill advises Ted to “philosophize with him.” And Ted does.
While I love Bill and Ted, my favorite comedy sketch about Socrates is from Steve Martin’s “Comedy Is Not Pretty” special from 1980. There are copies of it floating around YouTube in subpar quality… but even in degraded imagery format, the words and comedy shine brightly.
I was therefore looking forward to seeing more about Socrates here in Greece… and while I missed out on various odds and ends, I did finally see the Prison of Socrates, a cave jail that purported held the master philosopher.
I also saw a shoemaker’s stall in the Agora, the sprawling marketplace “shopping mall” of the 2nd Century BC into the Roman era of 4th Century AD. Socrates loved the cobbler and would stroll by to chat with him often… and this cobbler was the only contemporary who wrote down what Socrates said in the moment. The only other writings of his thoughts comes from Aristotle collecting his teacher’s wisdom after Socrates drank the Hemlock. This cobbler’s name was Simon… and I don’t know if that’s the derivation of “Simon Says” but I WANT to believe that it is.
One other note on the agora — because it was a hustling, bustling mega-crowded area, there were people who avoided the marketplace. That’s where we get the term “agoraphobia” from — folks who were “afraid” of the “marketplace.” Hashtag – word etymology.
There will be backfilled stories here later but in the meantime, suffice to say this was the part of the tour that involved excessively long “shopping opportunities.” Inevitably all tours seem to have this stretch of time — and I know some people really want to get souvenirs and the like but it always seems to take forever. Maybe I’m just agoraphobic.
I did break down and buy a custom marathon shirt where they’d let you put your name in Greek on the back. I got overcharged I’m pretty sure but when in Greece… at least they were nice about overcharging. In any case, after much gesticulation and back and forth, I was able to get them to write out in Greek “Run Kevin Run.”
Having completed my shopping in about 10 minutes, I had about 3 and a half hours to kill. On the plus side, because we were in central Athens, I was able to wander about and see some touristy stuff I had missed or only seen from the bus window. That’s how I got to see Socrates’s prison. And that’s how I got to see the changing of the guard at the Monument to the Unknown Soldier. It being Veteran’s Day, I appreciated the place… and while I know it’s a serious and somber thing, the marching style of the guards can only be described as a slow motion “Ministry of Silly Walks” comedy sketch. Here’s a time lapse video… and even in “fast motion” there are long stretches that seemingly are still. Go figure.