France, Where “No Smoking” Apparently Means “Light ‘Em Up!”

Here’s a big ol’ flashing red light warning sign. I’m kinda sick of people, especially Europeans who seemingly exist within much smaller personal space bubbles and thus think nothing of jostling, shoving, walking five across with a nary a care to those around them, and just generally crashing into my apparently obscenely American large personal space. And the European cigarette obsession, coupled with their unfiltered string tobacco and general disregard for “no smoking” signs are cough and nausea inducing.

But apparently the rules are different in France.  Hell, a guy offered me a cigarette at the 19 km mark of the half marathon this morning… more on that when I have an internet connection that lets me upload photos.

Meantime, in relation to this post, I’m a stickler for rules. When the Disneyland Paris Theme Parks have a policy in place, I expect it to be enforced at least SOME of the time.

The policy reads, “The Disney Parks are non-smoking, except for designated outdoor areas specially created and equipped for smokers.   This also applies to electronic cigarettes.”

Yet people are smoking away all over the park regardless of prohibitions and we all say nothing, guests and cast members alike. I fume under my breath, in between gasps and hacking coughs, as the fumes float around so very many customers here; they’re certainly customers and not guests as they think their money entitles them to be above the house rules. Disgusting on so many levels. But I get it. I’m the ugly American who is awful. Sigh.

All this and we are in but the opening days of my month long European tour.

As I said: Flashing red lights. Wailing klaxons of furious cacophony. The Robot is flailing his arms wildly and shouting, “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!”

The hotels, the transport, the races. It’s all paid for, save for meals and incidentals. And there are marathons to be run. But spuck me! I have been and always will be an enemy of people. Individuals are great. But people? Spuckin’ aster-horrible.

(N.B. that’s future speak… you can work it out. In the future words are combinations of current slang with prefixes related to astral-, moon-, space- or a combination thereof. Astra-horrible is pretty easy but as for the verb and adjective forms of “spuck” above, take the sp- suffix and the -uck root and I think you’ll get it).