A Virtual Message in an e-Bottle

Can I tell you a secret?

And by secret, I mean “the secret” like in that best selling self-help book? I haven’t read it, nor do I really know anything about it other than its use as a running gag in Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring (2013). But I gather you verbalize and put your secret desire out into the universe and it’s supposed to work its way back to you as a wish fulfilled or some such.

Assuming that’s right (and, hell, I’ve been making an ass of me for ages though hopefully not of U so let’s go ahead and keep assuming, yes?), this is my not-so-secret “secret”: I really would like to get my money back on the excessive fees and fares I was charged because my plane ticket had a clerical error. I really would like to un-buy that vowel as it were.

As a result, I’ve tried contacting South African Airways to plead my case and hope that my message falls on sympathetic ears. I’ve redacted some of the dates and figures and details for posting here but the gist is intact:

Dear South African Airways,

I’m taking my Mom to Madagascar on a “bucket list” trip of a lifetime as part of her forthcoming [REDACTED]th birthday. I bought our plane tickets months ago and only recently noticed there was a typo on my name – instead of “Kevin” an “I” was missing and my name was showing as “Kevn.”

I contacted Priceline who I bought the ticket through and after a long time on hold and checking back and forth with me, the change fee correction went from $50 plus their processing fee of $30 to $849 as apparently SAS needed to charge me for the difference in fares currently available over what I originally paid for our tickets. Then Priceline told me I’d need to buy a new ticket at $[REDACTED]. They said they’d eventually be able to refund my original ticket price of $[REDACTED], less some change fees. I wasn’t involved in the discussions, just left on hold as they worked it out with you. I was shellshocked and nervous that I had ruined my Mom’s big adventure and was at the point that I just needed to make sure we could go to Africa this coming Monday.

But I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach over the whole thing. I can’t believe that what seems like a really minor clerical error would incur such costs. But maybe that’s what has to happen. The name was wrong – KEVN does not appear on my passport. KEVIN does (albeit the frequent flyer info was right so I’m confused why that didn’t carry over the right name into the reservations).

Again, maybe this is all exactly what South African Airways needed to do to get this sorted and set right. But I do feel like the number was excessive… especially as I look at my credit card online and only see the $[REDACTED] charge for the new ticket and a $14 processing fee from Priceline plus a $30 change fee from them. I’m hoping at the very least to get my original ticket refunded but honestly I’m feeling like maybe I should have questioned Priceline a bit more over the fees involved anyway; every time they put me on hold they’d come back with a higher number because of code share flights and various other change fee issues and the like.

I guess the reason I’m writing is to see if there’s any way to get a refund or a credit for what I think was an excessive charge for a missing “I” on my name. I’m trying to put on a brave face in front of my mom who deserves a great holiday; she’s put up with a lot over the years (only partly due to me!) and I would do anything to make sure she has a good time. So I’m trying not to freak out about the money… but to be honest I’m kind of freaking out about the money.

I’m feeling a little taken advantage of; I’d have agreed to almost anything to make sure I didn’t disappoint my mom. If there is anything you can do to help resolve this matter or to check to see if this all represents standard protocol, I would appreciate it.

For your reference, the original ticket record locator purchased way back on February 6th was [REDACTED]. The re-purchased ticket confirmation according to Priceline was [REDACTED] while my Mom’s locator appears to be [REDACTED].

I honestly don’t know what record locator we are using anymore but the travel details are:

Passengers:
Kevin Hanna
Karen Hanna

Depart Monday, June 12, 2017 – [REDACTED]
**
Returning [REDACTED]

I’m feeling turned all around on this and felt I should try contacting you to see if there’s anything you can do to help ensure we’re set to travel; anything you can do to make me feel like I haven’t completely been taken advantage of by Priceline would also be appreciated.

I know once we are traveling I will do my very best to ensure Mom has a great time. And I have every confidence it will start once we get on your planes.

Thank you for any help or assistance you can provide,

Kevin Hanna

Let’s all hope the big secret isn’t that “the secret” is a pack of tricks we play on the living… and the dead.  I’m pretty sure that’s Voltaire’s definition of “history.”